


Between Seasons

by lenija



Category: Darkover Series - Marion Zimmer Bradley
Genre: M/M, Yuletide 2008
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-21
Updated: 2008-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 06:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1635734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenija/pseuds/lenija
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regis and Danilo swear another oath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to cathexys and Ellie for the last minute beta.
> 
> Written for ciaan

 

 

Early spring is a good time of the year to be riding through the Hellers' lowlands. The worst snowstorms have ceased, and the air tastes clear, without any trace of the forest fires that might come in summer.

After some negotiations Regis has agreed to the compromise offered by his grandfather: Because the winter is over and neither the Council Season nor Regis' second cadet year have started yet, he is free to undertake a journey to Ardais Castle, where his paxman Danilo Syrtis is currently staying - granted that he take a few men with him for his safety.

Regis directs his horse along a narrow pathway at the steep side of a mountain, step by step. There was really no point in arguing, he thinks. I know that now. Now that I've chosen to stay here and sworn myself to the responsibility of being a Domain's heir, I need to live up to it. Complaining about necessities is a childish thing to do. And after what happened last summer...

It's impossible to think about it without recalling memories of the flight from Castle Aldaran. They still come as scattered shreds; he hasn't managed to put them all together yet.

When Danilo and he parted ways three months ago - Regis was being sent to Arilinn in order to learn more about his _laran_ while Dani planned to spend some quiet time with his father after all the agitation - everything seemed easy between them, with no more unspoken fears and regrets obscuring their sight of each other. There is no reason whatsoever to start worrying again, only because a short time span has passed. Regis has been so sure he had moved beyond that kind of doubt, but his stomach tells him otherwise as they approach their destination. It's not that he's afraid of Danilo - he could never be - but a slight feeling of restlessness has taken home in his bones. What if Dani has changed his mind about him after all?

Regis smiles as he shakes his head in mild irritation. Perhaps such fears never leave you completely, even after you have learned that they are unjustified. There is no reason to take them seriously. And soon he will know for sure.

"Lord Regis?" At the mountain ridge, Harlan, one of the men who've accompanied him as guards, catches up with him. "It's only a few more hours to Ardais Castle. We're going to make it before sunset."

***

Danilo greets them in the castle's main hall, which is furnished in an elegant but undemonstrative fashion, emanating Dyan's elaborate taste. The reception in the guards' presence is formal bordering on exaggeration, but that's just how Dani acts when strangers are around, so Regis is not bothered.

"I'm afraid the Lord of Ardais cannot welcome you himself. He is on a trip and will not be back until the next week." Danilo explains. 

Regis releases the guards, declaring he will be sufficiently safe here. Harlan blushes crimson and assures that he would never expect any harm to come to his master when he is with Ardais' heir. Then they are finally alone. For a moment Regis is unsure how to act, but the moment passes, and he steps forward into his friend's embrace. Relief washes over him; his stomach unclenches. It's hard to say if it is his feeling alone, or whether they share it.

"So," says Dani when they've parted, "did you come here with a message for Dyan, or -"

"Not at all. I came here to see you. That's even what I told my grandfather."

"You rode all this way just to visit me? You didn't have to do that. It is an honour, Lord Regis."

"I had to see how my sworn man is doing," Regis replies. "It's my responsibility." 

But he is already smiling as he says it. It is just so exhilarating to see Dani again, that he feels light-headed, like he should be grinning all the time. Dani's mind touches his, tentatively, and Regis remembers there is nothing standing between them anymore. He lets go of most of the barriers he has learned to keep. They fall into rapport easily, as if it's never been any different. Through their connection Regis sends out his joy at being here, feeling it reflected in Dani's emotions.

"How have you been?" he asks, trying to keep on solid ground, and because he genuinely wants to know. 

"Good," Dani says, "Well, in consideration of the circumstances. Dyan was only here for a few days, when I first arrived two weeks ago. He showed me around, then told me get acquainted with everything and went on his trip. I'm getting the impression he wants to give me time to get used to the situation. I wouldn't have thought he could be this... respectful. What about you? How was the Tower?"

"Interesting. I think I learned how to manipulate my barriers more subtly, beside that there wasn't much to do. It looks like my _laran_ isn't very strong. Which is fine by me."

***

On that day they talk until long after midnight, about what happened during the past months, and what will be happening during those to come. The decision is made to ride back to Thendara together in a week, when the Council Season starts. They make plans about the coming season when they will be with the cadets again, and laugh as they recall the beginners' mistakes everyone made last year.

Dani gets quiet and says: "It was a hard year."

Regis can't argue with that.

"The next will be better," he answers instead. "I promise."

And he still finds it curious, the way Danilo bends his head, smiles and says in a serious voice: "Then I believe you."

***

The days that follow, spent with talk, riding and weapons practice, can easily be called the most enjoyable time they have had together. No more misunderstandings, no outside threats, no one trying to interfere with their choice of activities. There are not even strangers who look at them critically, or citizens who watch their every step because they are who they are - Comyn. For Regis it is comforting that Danilo no longer stands below him in status; they have never been this carefree together before. He lets his guard down completely. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Spring finally arrives at Ardais during these days; when they ride through the rocky hills at the foot of the mountain Dani finds snowdrops beside the path, almost invisible against the snow mantle. He slips down from the saddle and crouches to take a closer look at the flowers.

"Do you remember they grew at Nevarsin, when the year was going to be a warm one?"

"I've only seen them once or twice there."

"Yes, me too."

Regis dismounts and steps beside Danilo to look over his shoulder. If not for Nevarsin, we never would have become friends, he thinks, aware that his friend can hear him as if he were speaking.

"Perhaps not, but you cannot know for sure."

A slight tremor goes through Danilo's body; Regis can feel it clearly, although he cannot quite place it. Whatever it is, it passes over to him. He gets very still inside, his heart beating slowly, and drops down on one knee, in the soft dry snow, only inches away from Dani, sensing the warmth of his body and the raggedness of his thoughts. Dani raises his head and looks Regis straight in the eye; his breath is hot against the skin of Regis' face. Slowly, but without hesitation, he lifts his left hand to touch Regis' cheek. He wears woollen mittens, and suddenly the need for real touch emerges in Regis, a contact that will dissolve the world around him and leave nothing but the person beside him.

Danilo says, "Let's go back."

*** 

This is Ardais Castle, someone else's home, not a place that should make them feel safe and untroubled, but at this moment none of that matters. As soon as their horses are tended to - honourable men always think of their beasts first - they climb the stairs, lock the door of Regis' guest room behind them.

"What are we doing?" Regis asks. He hears his own voice resonating in his ears, dazed and rough.

"What we have wanted to do all along?"

It is reassuring to hear the tremble in Dani's voice, and frightening at the same time. Having removed his gloves, Dani reaches out and takes Regis' hand in his own. There is a small electric shock, already familiar, then rapport, just like in that travel-shelter deep in the Hellers - it feels like only yesterday, and like years ago. The shared memory manifests itself around them, encasing them.

We did not fear anything then, _bredu_. Why should we now?

For a second Dyan seems to be in the room with them, a shadowy presence, full of menace and mockery. Dani shakes his head.

"I want to put that behind me, Regis. I won't let it have anything to do with us."

The phantom is wiped away by a flick of Danilo's mind.

What about the Cristoferos' rules?, Regis thinks. Dani's answer gets lost in his movement forward, or maybe it isn't lost at all, but included in what they do, beyond words: Dani leans forward and kisses Regis on the lips ever so softly. Somehow, out of instinct, Regis' lips open under Dani's as he returns the kiss. He has never kissed anyone like this before. Before laran, there was Nevarsin, both influences entirely successful in keeping him away from those he would have wanted to be close to.

It is so intense he almost cannot bear it, if not for Danilo's trust and affection flowing towards him, together with a myriad of other emotions - need, love, fear of losing all control. Disorientation, and the opposite of it: the strong impression of being completely at home.

No longer is it possible to discern where each emotion comes from, or from whom of them it originates. Physical contact and the merging of their minds are one and the same thing, the same pulsing currents under their skin.

This must be something you cannot know how to do, thinks Regis, at least not among telepaths, and Danilo answers, that is why we have to try and learn it. So, blindly, Regis follows the ways his intuition guides him, and it turns out to be easy after all, because he feels every one of Danilo's reactions like his own. They are already naked in a different way, so when they undress, shame is nothing more than an empty term. Regis traces the energy currents in Danilo's body, fingertips inches away from his skin, until he can't wait anymore and places his hand at the side of Dani's neck. The currents change their course, flowing into Regis' own body and back into Dani's, as if there is no space between them at all. Surprisingly, the intimacy does not overwhelm him, although it is absolute and without refuge.

Regis wants to say something, but there is nothing he can think of; nothing that could come close to sharing the heat Dani's embrace evokes in him, nothing that can even begin to describe this dissolving of everything he knows, or explain why he can, why he wants to go through with this more than anything, even though it is almost as terrifying as it is wonderful.

Dani moves against him, kisses the sweat from his temple.

" _Bredhyu_ ," he whispers, and that is the very explanation Regis has been looking for.

*** 

Midnight approaches, it is still spring, and nothing and everything has changed between them.

Nothing, because they have both anticipated what happened on this day; they have thought and dreamed about it, and they no longer keep secrets from one another.

Everything, because not unlike the oath sealed by the exchanging of swords, this is what makes it real, another step to acknowledging that they are more than friends, more than sworn brothers even - and probably they will always be. That they might be just what others will call them in jest, or as an insult.

Regis hides his face in the crook of Dani's arm, his hand in Dani's hair, and he knows that while fear may not have left him indefinitely, there is one place where at least he can be free from all doubt. 

 


End file.
